Friday, October 19, 2012

Review: Fangs for Nothing

Fangs for Nothing
Fangs for Nothing by Shannon Ryan

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Book Info: Genre: Urban Fantasy, Humorous
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: Everyone.

Disclosure: I received a free ARC ebook edition of this title from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Synopsis: Not everyone who gets turned into a vampire becomes a sexy rock star.

At twenty-seven, Vincent Lester still looks seventeen, acne and all. He lives in his parents' basement, playing PlayStation and barely surviving by licking the blood off raw hamburger trays. His parents nag him to find a day job, but he's afraid the sun will make him burst into flame.

One night at the bar, Vinny picks up a drunk girl, literally, and gets his first taste of fresh, human blood. Then things get really weird.

My Thoughts: I really loved this author’s first book, Minion of Evil (link to review here for sites that allow links). So when I heard Shannon Ryan was writing a vampire story, I first squeeeeeeeed with excitement for awhile, and then started pestering him: “When’ll it be done, huh huh huh??? When’ll it be done????” until I think he finished it out of irritation with me and sent me a copy. Whereupon I got really busy for a long time and wasn’t able to get to it before he released it into the wild. pout But now I finally got to read it! Yay!

So, this is full of funny, like this: “I needed blood. However, the whole predatorily-attacking-people (sic) thing bothered me. I’ve never been much of an athlete. I just couldn’t see myself chasing girls down alleyways, and if they could outrun me, that would be so embarrassing.” Of course, since Vinny doesn’t chase down victims, he drinks the left-over blood on hamburger trays to survive. When he father says grace at a family meal, “I started to squirm. I’m not sure if there really is a God, but if he does exist, there is a precedent that he’s not really on my side. Jesus might love the little children, but he was silent on the subject of bloodsucking fiends.” His parents want him out of the basement, and his mother is constantly nagging him to get a job: “Since my ungodly transformation, my parents had been in denial about my ‘condition.’ Sure, they might admit I had a nasty sun allergy, but anything beyond that got conveniently edited out of their reality. Plus they were really getting sick of having me around the house...” When describing holding his breath, he explains how breathing is needed to help him speak, but, “I’m good at holding my breath though – my record is two hours, after that I get bored.

I could go on for pages with quotes from this book – it was hilarious – but I suppose I’d end up giving spoilers. All those quotes are from very early in the book. Vinny is awesome – and a real trooper, especially when it comes to his cross-dressing. If you enjoy laughing, if you’re a fan of “silly” vampire fiction, if you read Minion of Evil and want more – if you just enjoy a good story – you really do not want to miss Shannon Ryan. Get this book today!

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