Real Vampires Don't Sparkle by Amy Fecteau
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Book Info: Genre: Urban Fantasy/M/M romance
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: Anyone who likes vampire stories especially with plenty of humor
Trigger Warnings: murder, torture, slavery
“Somehow, Matheus expected the night he died to be fraught with weather straight out of the Old Testament: thunderstorms and hurricane winds and floods with arks.”Right from that first line I knew I was going to absolutely love this book. So here's the thing. While the book isn't funny, it's very comedic at times.
Matheus's thoughts and comments made me laugh over and over, especially things like,Matheus and Quin both are highly sarcastic and it's often quite hilarious. I was also amused by Matheus's often random thoughts, such as his “Lose-Weight-Or-We'll-Come-To-Your-Home-And-Remove-Your-Shinbones-With-A-Pair-Of-Pliers Plan.” Oh, there are lots more I could give you, but hopefully that will give you the idea!
“Quin stalked beside him, his anger a physical presence between them. Matheus named it Bob, and addressed imaginary questions to it to distract himself.”
“Quin took on the air of someone who has just realized it's time for the yearly visit to the spinster great-aunt in a desperate attempt to woo her inheritance away from her thirty-eight cats.”
I was amused by that fact that while this is set in the US with an ancient Roman and Matheus, a lot of the statements are very British, such as “can't be arsed” and “poncy git” and “jumper” and the like. Once I looked up more info on this author I learned she was a fan of silly British books, so I guess that explains that. I tend to sprinkle a lot of Britishisms into my language as well, but for those few people who are bothered by it, be aware there are lots of them in this book. It is actually explained, but that would be spoiling things, so you'll just have to find out for yourself. While the editing isn't perfect—there are plenty of missing or extra words—I was delighted to see this author using “discrete” and “discreet” correctly. That's a frequently seen error, and it was nice to see them used correctly.
This is apparently slated to be the first book in a new series. I, for one, want the next book out now. I absolutely loved this book and recommend it heartily to anyone to whom it appeals. Highly recommended!
Disclosure: I received an e-book version of this book from Curiosity Quills (via NetGalley) in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
Synopsis: Matheus Taylor didn’t ask to be murdered.
To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless.
His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn’t done with it yet. Quin didn’t care. A seventeen-hundred old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.
Now, Matheus spends his nights running for his life, questioning his sexual orientation, and defying a mysterious new threat to the vampires within his city. Not that he set out to do any defying; he just wanted to be left alone.
Unfortunately, that was never going to happen.
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