Decent human beings treat one another with politeness and civility, even when they disagree. They do not stoop to ad hominem attacks. They do not use insults. They do not spread false tales. They do not tell lies.
Be a decent human being. Malicious behavior will eventually catch up with you. Nothing is ever truly anonymous. Nothing is ever truly secret. Take the time to ensure something is true before spreading it around. Better yet, don't stoop to the level of gossip. If someone behaves in a way that requires correction, take the time to contact them privately and try to work things out. Don't go to your friends and tell them rumors and send them out to spread them. Rather, be respectful. Be civil. Be a decent human being.
At the end of the day, the person who suffers, or benefits, most from your own behavior... is you.
Thanks for saying this so eloquently.
ReplyDeleteThank YOU for coming by!
DeleteI know how you feel. It seems that you can't really trust anyone these days. From visous rumors to people just telling straight up lies. You never know what to really believe. Which is one reason why I stopped doing tours and at the moment just reviewing for myself.
ReplyDeleteSee? This is why I hate that this is happening. People are leaving Goodreads due to harassment. People have stopped writing, stopped reviewing, stopped interacting... all out of FEAR because of the cruelty and malicious behavior. To make matters worse, a sort of group mentality will overtake people who associate themselves with the people who perpetrate these things, and otherwise perfectly nice people will find themselves participating. Then heaven forbid you wake up and try to step back from it... your former friends will turn on you like a rabid pit bull. This all needs to STOP. I'm SO TIRED of having to constantly tiptoe around everywhere.
DeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts, Katy. I agree with you and not just on the internet, I hope the violence and the mindless hatred in real life cease to exist too.
ReplyDeleteYes, absolutely! It just seems to me that the Internet, with is anonymity, and lack of actual contact with other people, tends to make things even worse. It so so much easier to be cruel when you don't have to see the damage being done right in front of you. If it's just words on a page, how much harm can it do, right? WRONG. Thanks for dropping in!
Deletewe need fix the problem when and where it starts in pre-k and elementary schools. i hate to say this but once a bully always a bully. children that bully other children grow up to be adults that bully other adults. some schools take bullying very seriously, but others don't... we might have less cruelty in the world if we squash bullying when it starts, with children.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing your thought. hopefully your words will touch a few people that need to be touched.
I really agree that children need to be taught consequences for their actions rather than that they are never to blame. Part of it is this new thing schools are doing to make sure no child feels inadequate, which means rather than winners winning, now everyone "wins" simply by participating. They also see their parents turning over responsibility for their behavior to the teachers, and blaming everyone but themselves for their own failings. Children are no longer taught to fear consequences, but rather to seek out blame. When I was a kid, if I misbehaved, I would be punished, not "talked to"; when kids misbehaved in school, they were as likely to receive detention and other in-school punishments as to being suspended or expelled. Come on, really? Kids LOVE time off school - expulsion and suspension DO NOT WORK. Make them take EXTRA classes, spend MORE time at school, and for the love of Goddess quit CODDLING. If they never see the consequences of their actions, how can they ever learn to empathize with the damage they are doing?
DeleteAnyway, thanks for coming by and providing your thoughts. So sorry for the rambling response! this is rather a hot-button topic for me... :-)
Thanks ... I remember seeing this in May and I never commented. I really had not seen it, I was to wrapped up in staying on top with everything. Thank you so much for sharing again.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by. I hope it helped. I have something really interesting planned for tomorrow... :-)
DeleteGreat post, Katy! I've been on the receiving end of bullying more times than I can count. As a young person it wounded me to the point of withdrawal and depression. As an adult it pierces deeply, but I've learned to fight the overwhelming need to withdraw and the blackness that seeps over the body and mind. It's not an easy fight, but I've learned to stand up to those things and not allow the bully what they want...to control the emotions of those they abuse.
ReplyDeleteThe damage done by words is why I wrote my first book, Plain Jane. It deals with this sort of experience and how it can lead to a good, kind, tender person falling headlong into a spiraling pit and end up somewhere that leaves them with no hope. It's such a sad truth. So many people who take their lives have done so because of harmful words being spewed upon them by bullies. :(
Thanks for being a kind person who cares about the feelings of others!
Every time I hear someone say, "It's just words..." I want to smack them about the head and neck with a two-by-four. "It's just wood, what's your problem?" But... I'm not an inherently violent person, so I just try to ignore their ignorance. Sometimes I'll try to make a point by saying, "Well, I hope that you will never understand what I'm talking about then." So sorry to hear you've gone through this. *hugs*
Deletewords are among the most powerful weapons we have as humans. With them we can deliver death, or we can choose to deliver life. Physical wounds heal, and while the one wounded may limp or have some other problem as a result for the rest of their life, they often heal. Break a bone, and it will heal, and it will usually be stronger than it originally was. Those who are wounded by words live with the scars forever. Yes, they heal over time if tended to, but all too often the wounds are deeper and more harmful. Thing is, once words are released, they can't be taken back. The damage is done. Yes, a person can apologize for harmful words, but they cannot undo the pain their words inflicted. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me...is a lie! I don't know who started that saying, probably a parent of a child trying to make them feel better after a bully called them names, but it's not truth.
DeleteTrue dat. *hugs* to you.
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