Tell Me Something Tuesday

Tell Me Something Tuesday has been hosted up until now by Cambria Hebert, but this is the last week she'll be hosting it. I figured I'd take part one last time with her. In Cambria's words:
Welcome to my weekly meme Tell Me Something Tuesday where I ask you something and you tell me the answer!! It’s as simple as that and I thought it would be a great way for all of us bloggers to get to know one another! So this is how it works: I post a question here on my blog and then i give my answer. I invite all the bloggers to take the question and post it on their blog with their answer and we can hop around and see what everyone says! If you are a blogger don’t forget to leave your link at the bottom of this post! If you aren’t a blogger – that’s okay too!! Leave your answer in the comments section!

If you decide to take part, be sure to sign up with Mr. Linky over at Cambria's site.

Tell Me Something:

What are your New Year’s Resolutions for 2013?

My Answer:

Well, see, many, many years ago I decided I would stop making New Year's resolutions, and thereby resolved to never make another. So I haven't. However, I still want to take a moment and discuss resolutions with you. I'll be talking more about this on Nick Wastnage's blog on the 6th, because it is an issue that has been troubling me for months now, and that issue is cyber-bullying and the attacks on authors and reviewers and bloggers that try to maintain good relations with authors that I have been seeing on the various readers' sites: worst, of course, on Goodreads and the Amazon fora. This is a serious issue, and it seems to be a small, vocal minority of discontents who have nothing better to do than to try to pull down other people, destroy people's lives and works, and for what? Because they're bored? They're certainly not doing it for the "good of the readers" as they claim, because a lot of the drivel they are spreading is outright lies, or at the least horribly twisted for their own purposes. So, to them I say: STOP. Why are you doing this? You're creating dissension when there should be discussion. You're creating drama where there should be learning. Your senseless and needless cruelty is destroying people's lives. Yes, those who you are attacking? Those are real people with real lives.

What does this have to do with New Year's Resolutions? It's simply this:
Let's all resolve in this new year to be kinder to one another. To remember that there is a real person on the other side of that blank screen. To remember that words can hurt, and that what we do affects the people with whom we interact. There's no need for the senseless cruelty I've seen in this past year. There's no need to cut other people down, to try to destroy other people's lives in some quest for popularity. Just stop, think, and start to treat other people the way you would want them to treat you. it doesn't matter if other people reciprocate. It doesn't matter how they treat you. YOU change yourself, and the world will gradually change around you.

Let's start the new year by helping to STOP bullying!

Recently I won a copy of Billie A. Williams' book Cold Water in a giveaway. In subsequent e-mails, it came to light that Ms. Williams is offering a great guide to help stop bullying, free, on her website. You can find more info here. The name of the e-book is Let's Investigate Bullying. It can also be used as a reading guide for Cold Water. All in all, I think this will be a good resource for anyone who works with children, has children, or generally wants to help stop bullying. Check it out.

Tell Me Something Tuesday

Tell Me Something Tuesday is a weekly Meme hosted by Cambria Hebert. Remember if you take part to go to the original post here and add yourself to Mr. Linky.

Here are the rules and this week's question:

Welcome to my weekly meme Tell Me Something Tuesday where I ask you something and you tell me the answer!! It’s as simple as that and I thought it would be a great way for all of us bloggers to get to know one another! So this is how it works: I post a question here on my blog and then i give my answer. I invite all the bloggers to take the question and post it on their blog with their answer and we can hop around and see what everyone says! If you are a blogger don’t forget to leave your link at the bottom of this post! If you aren’t a blogger – that’s okay too!! Leave your answer in the comments section!

Tell Me Something:

Were you bullied in school? How do you think bullying has charged over the years – do you think it’s worse now than it was a few years ago?

Bullying is a hard thing to deal with, partially because it is so subjective. Lately there are a lot of accusations and counter-accusations of bullying all over the web among the reader, reviewer, and writer groups - is it all really bullying?

How to you define bullying to ensure the safety of the victims without having to subsequently deal with the bullies, who tend to say, "Hey, I wasn't doing nothin', just having my own opinion is all..." or, more often, "Just havin' a little fun, is all, I didn't mean nothin'," with big innocent eyes. Meanwhile people are having nervous breakdowns, becoming suicidal, and fleeing social sites because they can't deal with that person's aggressive, combative, and hostile "opinions". I believe that if a person feels very emotionally traumatized, that should be considered cyber-bullying. Again, it is very subjective, but people have different levels of attacks that they can handle, depending on their life situation and how they are being attacked.

Now, as to me - was I ever bullied? I went to a very small school (when I graduated, there were 79 students in the entire high school, counting 8th grade - 19 of those were my classmates. The most students I ever remember having in my class were 32), in a very small town, where everyone knew everyone else. I think probably some people at some point tried to bully me, but I have a very protective older brother, and if I complained about anyone, those people would receive a quiet "talking to" and usually I wouldn't have any further trouble from them. some may say my brother was bullying the bullies, but he was always very quiet and respectful as he spoke to them - he has always been a master at getting people to see the error of their ways. I actually became much better friends with some of these people after they had their "talks" with my big brother. Were other people bullied in my school? Yes, I think so - I definitely remember protecting some of my friends from people who were being cruel to them. I am not aware of anyone being physical attacked or threatened, but it might be that, as a small farming and ranching community, the students mostly had other things to do than to cause trouble.

How has it changed? Is it worse now? Well, the internet is a blessing and a curse - a blessing because it has made the world so much smaller, and helped more people than ever before have a place where they can fit in and have friends. However, it has also exaggerated all the worst of the bad in people, too - people create on-line personas that have no relation to their real self, and as such, they feel safe venting out all the anger, bitterness, and grief that they've always had to keep inside - quite often inappropriately. Perfectly nice people will get on-line and suddenly they will turn into raving jerks, cyber-stalking people, cyber-bullying people, attacking people left and right... and you really don't want to believe all the stories you hear about it. Then, one day, it happens to you. Now you're a believer - and much sadder about things.

I think the basic tenets of social interaction are more important than ever on-line.

Treat others like you would want to be treated yourself. Remain civil and polite. Disengage from unfruitful and combative situations rather than allowing yourself to be dragged into them. You may not always be able to do this - it is especially hard when you know people are telling lies about you everywhere, because you want to go and clear things up, but the types of people who organize these on-line witch hunts are the types of people who will twist any words you say beyond your recognition. Better to ignore them, walk away. That's actually pretty good advice for your average, real-life interactions with bullies, too - if you can safely do so, just refuse to react and walk away. Obviously if you are in danger, you should protect yourself, but most bullies are all talk and, at their heart, total cowards.

Next week's question:

Is your TBR pile out of control? How do you plan to reign it in? I imagine everyone awaiting a review from me will be anxiously waiting to hear this!

Again, if you have a blog and you want to play along, be sure to link up. Mr. Linky is at the end of Cambria's post. Or you can just respond in the comments section. Thanks for a thought-provoking question this week, Cambria!